Lately I had a small tiff with a few people I follow over on my regular tumblr regarding the fact they have been posting and reblogging a staggering amount of posts that include incest, implied incest and incest jokes. For me, as a victim of childhood incestuous rape and molestation the topic is IMMENSELY triggering, and this is something most of them know. However, they continue to post these things without warnings.
I wanted to bring it to their attention before unfollowing them, pointing out why many of the jokes and things they where posting where a bit off, even taking my personal biases off the table. This however, did not go well for me. I was told incest was their own personal fetish, and like rape, bdsm, pedophilia and other things (because bdsm, rape and child molesting are all the same right? *barf*) each person was entitled to their own ‘deviance and perversions’. (her words, not mine.) Never at all in my conversation did I police anyone including her on what they could and couldn’t like. I simply let her know that I found it objectionable and that incest rape jokes weren’t funny, or just rape jokes at all. I’ve stopped following her, and social situations are now very awkward. But its better than a dash full of nightmares, flashbacks and provocations for self harm.
This often happens with people who make or reblog misogynistic, racist and homophobic posts. Immediately defensive, insulting and dismissing. When these people are strangers, it can be easy to ignore or point out to them. Worst comes to worst you don’t know them and can just ignore them and keep on keeping on.
My question is; what do you do when these people are your friends? Your family? What do you do when something so offensive to you they consider ‘core’ to their being? When they do horrible things like compare child rape fantasies to consensual over age bdsm activities?