It looks slut shamey, whorephobic, transphobic and of course, completely anti-porn. This makes me feel sad and I’d like to go in, but I don’t want ot have to deal with such negative, uninformed and judgmental views as the ones they appear to have from the website blog and their book display choice. Oh, and their love of wingnut Gail Dines.

I can’t decide if I should go in or not. And if they talk to me, if I should mention that I find their blog and book display choice rather offensive. Because if they do talk to me if I decide to go in there is NO way I can keep my mouth shut or smile and nod.  

As a women who fits / is the following:

• conventionally attractive 
• conventionally attractive in a sexual way (large bust/hips-tiny waist)
• enjoys makeup
• enjoys lingerie, sexualized and ‘sexy’ attire
• openly sexual
• openly displays sexuality
• creates profit from sexuality without exploitation
• true sexual exhibitionist
• a creator of sexual erotic material that is for sale featuring women 
• a ‘sex-positive’ feminist
  (I know the term is problematic but not sure what else to use)

I find it offensive that:

• I am blamed for womens and my own oppression
• I am blamed for violence committed against me 
• I am blamed for women being raped and sexually abused
• I am blamed for sexual slavery and people trafficking 
• I am blamed for women having problems sexually
• I am blamed for society hypersexualizing women
• I am blamed for children having low self esteem
• I am blamed for a rise in STDs and pregnancy
• I am blamed for partners being unfaithful
• I am blamed for ‘distorted’ veiws on sexuality and sex
• I am blamed for ‘fake’ lesbianism and ‘confused’ sexuality
• I am blamed for the fetishization of non heterosexuals and queers

• It is assumed I have no / low self esteem or body image
• It is assumed that I have no standards or am “easy”
• It is assumed my sexuality is only a toy for men
• It is assumed that my choices are not my own
• It is assumed I am influenced by men/patriarchy and have no autonomy
• It is assumed that I was forced into working and am a slave
• It is assumed I am exploitative, abusive and that I am a misogynist
• It is assumed I am uneducated, especially on feminist topics
• It is assumed I don’t care about feminism / womens rights
• It is assumed that when I say I’m not a sex slave I either support slavery or deny it exists

The worst part? Most of these inaccurate and nasty assumptions come from people who should be my allies; my feminist brothers and sisters.

Society is to blame. A lack of education is to blame. Not one single queer woman who naturally happens to be conventionally attractive, whose sexuality entails exhibitionism and visual displays of the erotic, who is confident, TRULY sexually liberated and unafraid. 

I am just being myself; WHO I TRULY AM. 

My sexual preferences and sexual expressions are just that- sexual preferences and sexual expressions. I have complete personal autonomy in all aspects. I am not ‘brainwashed’ or culturally contrived due to patriarchy. No part of me is just a ‘plaything’ for men; including my sexuality. I do not have low self esteem. I certainly have standards. There is no denying that expecting all women to be like me, or being pressed by society to be like me is wrong- but that doesn’t mean I am to blame, nor does it mean that because I enjoy those things personally I am wrong or responsible.

If you beleive I am responsible for the things above and you call yourself a feminist then I suggest you have a look at yourself and your views deep down and assess what feminism really is to you. Because if you think being a feminist is about repressing my sexuality, my sexual freedoms and who I am and then blaming all of societies problems relating to sex on me; I don’t think you are any better than what you think I am- which is apparently some kind of oppressive, sexually messed up monster.

Lately I had a small tiff with a few people I follow over on my regular tumblr regarding the fact they have been posting and reblogging a staggering amount of posts that include incest, implied incest and incest jokes. For me, as a victim of childhood incestuous rape and molestation the topic is IMMENSELY triggering, and this is something most of them know. However, they continue to post these things without warnings.

I wanted to bring it to their attention before unfollowing them, pointing out why many of the jokes and things they where posting where a bit off, even taking my personal biases off the table. This however, did not go well for me. I was told incest was their own personal fetish, and like rape, bdsm, pedophilia and other things (because bdsm, rape and child molesting are all the same right? *barf*) each person was entitled to their own ‘deviance and perversions’. (her words, not mine.) Never at all in my conversation did I police anyone including her on what they could and couldn’t like. I simply let her know that I found it objectionable and that incest rape jokes weren’t funny, or just rape jokes at all. I’ve stopped following her, and social situations are now very awkward. But its better than a dash full of nightmares, flashbacks and provocations for self harm.

This often happens with people who make or reblog misogynistic, racist and homophobic posts. Immediately defensive, insulting and dismissing. When these people are strangers, it can be easy to ignore or point out to them. Worst comes to worst you don’t know them and can just ignore them and keep on keeping on.

My question is; what do you do when these people are your friends? Your family? What do you do when something so offensive to you they consider ‘core’ to their being? When they do horrible things like compare child rape fantasies to consensual over age bdsm activities? 

The Victorian police are to be given new rights to ‘crack down’ on illegal brothels. Citing that Melbourne had a ‘booming illegal sex trade’ and that illegal brothels posed serious risk to the community because illegal brothels promoted abuse of women, tax avoidance, illegal immigration and health risks due to unprotected sex among other things. Cracking down on sex slavery is one thing but this is not whats going on overall.

I’d just like to say; if the government thinks that a return to the misogynistic, whorephobic and violent Vice Squad style of policing the underground sex industry is going to help women- they are deadly wrong- and it’s going to destroy and hurt many lives.

This isn’t about helping women. Sex slaves or freely and happily working.

It’s about getting rid of ‘illegals’ and ‘undesirables’ (Generally poor and abused women from Asian countries who want a better life but can’t get visas as they aren’t doctors/nurses/teachers/tradies- which is all we are taking in.)

It’s about taxing an underclass to death for jobs that already pay much less than they should so that life is unbearable and it makes legal work like prostitution not worth the tiny scrap of money you’ll have left over after tax worth it.

It’s about keeping women under the hand of oppressive “regulators” (pimps and brothel pimps) and keeping their pockets well filled, while stealing that money from workers. “Regulators” who in Victoria take MASSIVE and unfair cuts from women’s pay in exchange for little more than a legal venue to work in (often they take more than 50-60% of what they charge clients for the woman’s time- google-fu Melbourne brothels and see), making it unprofitable or unworth working in a ‘legal’ sexual; service venue. Many of whom force workers into contracts stating where else they can and can not work, taking advantage of women and smothering them.

It’s about fear mongering and then ‘fixing’ the ‘moral’ problem to ‘protect’ the public from its pearl clutching against many poor women who are just trying to get by but who are tired of Victoria’s nonsensical and grey-area laws regarding private sex work, who are tired of having over 50% of their hard earned money taken from legal pimps who give fuck all in return BEFORE tax, and who are tired of being discriminated against for being a sex worker even when it’s legal by almost every industry. 

As such they decide not to register as prostitutes, work for a ‘safe and legal’ pimp, decide to work for themselves or privately for an amount that is actually fair and reasonable for the work they do, not pay a huge lump sum of unfair tax for services they will not be allowed to use because they are part of a legal but disliked profession and as such are legally discriminated against.

Going after illegal brothels in the business of sex slavery is different, but over all this is not what it’s about at all. They should stop pretending this is about anything but hatred of illegal immigrants and underclass, making more tax money, fattening the pay packets of pimps and publicity at the expense of real people. I say;

NO RETURN OF THE VICE SQUAD!

(Source: theage.com.au)