Some commenters expressed confusion over lying versus gaslighting, and whether this is something that is always conscious or whether it can be subconscious as well.
“Gaslighting” is a colloquial term and not a clinical one (Practitioners, is there an official recognition of this behavior?), so there is some disagreement on how it’s applied. For our discussion, I consider gaslighting to be a repeat, systematic series of lies that aredesigned to make the victim doubt her reality. It’s not one lie or two lies, it’s part of a pattern of abuse meant to make the victim more compliant to minimize the effects of abuse, accept blame, and accept the abuser’s version of events that are contrary to her own.In other words, it’s death by a thousand cuts.
Gaslighting can be intentional, such as with the example from the play and its movie adaptations, or the example I use here, where a partner purposely moves or hides your stuff to make you feel forgetful and untethered to your memory.
-Read more HERE
Gaslighting is a tactic that was used against me since I was about 5 or 6 years old when I was first sexually abused. It has been used against me by many people through out my life, and it is incredibly common. Many people don’t see the distinction between lying and gaslighting. Most people who use gaslighting as an abuse tactic consciously or unconsciously are generally rather sneaky, intelligent or manipulative so it can be hard to spot. I reccomend reading the full thing at Feministe