The obsession with degrading, dehumanising, humiliating acts of pornography stems from the very orgasm that is achieved through the viewing of such material wherein the orgasm itself is “the world’s most powerful conditioning mechanism”.
Porn is a right …not when you are hurting someone else.
RIGHTS: the benefits that are derived from power. Just because a privilege is a norm does not make it a right.
Men have come to assume that using porn is a right. How many of my readers have been in a relationship with a dude who thinks he’s entitled to use porn and that it’s your responsibility to “get over it”? How many of my male readers have used porn while in a relationship, knowing that it made your partner uncomfortable (or worse)? How many of my readers know someone who is struggling with the feelings of anger, betrayal, and inadequacy that a partner’s porn use has created? Why, might I ask my male porn-using readers, do you feel entitled to do something that hurts someone you (purportedly) care about?
If you don’t see what’s wrong with being a Nice Guy, it’s this: despite your “nice” actions, you are still living under the assumption that how you treat a woman entitles you to some sort of appreciation, or some part of her body. If you haven’t noticed by now, this makes you an asshole, too.
I really dont understand it especially when people argue that its art
how is posing with you’re legs open art?
and then I’ve also heard girls/guys say that its empowering to women that they can embrace and show love to their body via pictures
and honestly I think it does the opposite
you’re actually showing a guy that you have to have your clothes off to get their attention
and if you honestly did love your body you wouldn’t need the acceptance of others
I gotta say Ive seen some disgusting things on tumblr since people act like its a fucking porn site and it annoys the hell out of me
some people truly disgust me
oh and by the way I do know that there is REAL art with the naked form of people and NO im not talking about that….
and no Im not scared of looking at the naked form of people which by the way is usually always women not men (when does one ever really see a guy posing naked in a pic… its very rare)
rant ends people can go ahead and get mad if they want I could really care less =]
Your assumptions are very ignorant and broad.
Firstly; They completely ignore or over-ride the thoughts, opinions and motives of whomever decides they do something you don’t like- in this case posing nude in various media.
Who are you to decide what is and what is not art, and that if art includes the topic of sexuality it can’t be art? What is inartistic about genitals? Are they not as attractive to you as skin, eyes, hands? Can nudity and sexuality not be appreciated artistically? Is sex and nudity not beautiful? Just because some may take sexual gratification from pictures or artwork; do they hold less artistic merit?
To say that if a women decides to be naked she tells the world ‘I need attention and this is the only way I can get it’ is ludicrous. It’s the same as saying if someone is a dentist they scream to the world “I need attention and this is the only way I can get it” or a women in a short dress calling “I need attention and this is the only way I can get it” or a woman politician, policewoman… or just any woman doing anything- ever. The only thing being nude is ‘telling’ people is that you are nude. Anything apart from that is a little more complex than you seem to imagine. To many women- myself included being naked IS liberating.
I do it because I love nudity, I love real bodies, people and sexuality and my main hobby in photography and graphic design.
I do it because I love my body and my sexuality and I want to share it as by nature I am an exhibitionist- not because I want or need attention; and certainly not because I want ‘acceptance’ from others regarding my body, appearance, sexuality, personality or hobbies. I do it because it gives me great pleasure and I love it and that ALONE.
You have no right to assume that because I choose to do what I love that I am desperate for attention, have low self esteem or that need the acceptance of others because I can tell you right now; I don’t. I don’t need acceptance or care for the oppinions of others- Esp. not you and yours!
As for the reason why people may choose to enjoy the work of, or look up too people who decide to pose nude or in an erotic manner? There are many reasons. Perhaps they enjoy how beautiful sex and sexuality is. Maybe they enjoy depictions of women expressing themselves when they cannot. Maybe they enjoy the fact that women more than ever are able to express themselves without legal repercussion, and in more safe, consensual circumstances than ever before and are able to run their own businesses. In any case; who are you to judge them?
For too long womens sexuality has been repressed or exploited. Would you like to know who is oppressing or exploiting my sexuality? No one, including you.
“…[F]eminism also dares to expect more from men. Feminism expects a man to be ethical, emotionally present, and accountable to his values in his actions with women - as well as other men. Feminism loves men enough to expect them to act more honorably and actually believes them capable of doing so. Feminism is a vision that expects men to go from being “just *guys*,” accepting whatever they might happen to do, to being *just* guys - capable of autonomy and authenticity, inspired by justice. That is, feminism believes guys can become men.”—
Michael Kimmel, from Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men
“Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. That’s their natural and first weapon. She will need her sisterhood”—Gloria Steinem (via fistwavingfeminism)
I’ve been getting a lot of obnoxious troll messages lately. If you actually want to be responded to be sure to give context of what your talking about and present your arguments with facts instead of swearing- and then I’ll be happy to publish your comment and we can have a discussion.
I wanted to post this for clarification on my last post ‘Feminist porn users and hypocrisy’. I’m pro -some- bdsm porn. (just as I’m pro some porn over all from various pornography categories) I’m also completely pro consensual BDSM.
There is nothing wrong with safe, consensual fantasies or living them out- but like much of the pornography industry many BDSM porn sites treat their performers like shit and are completely disrespectful outside the roleplay and context of the fetish they cater too. I know this from first and second hand industry experience.
Many sites don’t screen models too see if they are even interested in BDSM, instead they just pick up girls desperate for cash and coax them into being beaten, strangled, having their genitals pierced or electrocuted etc etc; which is disgusting. Most of those things are far out of a lot of peoples comfort zones and I don’t agree with getting people to do things they consider degrading, shameful, disgusting or cause them trauma just because they want a few dollars. There are plenty of performers into BDSM (myself included!) and many companies (such as kink.com) screen them to be sure they are interested and the experience will be properly consensual and even if the performer will enjoy it.
The friendly, consensual, non-coerced, respectful fantasy BDSM porn where performers are engaged and willing is not what I’m talking about when I say ‘bad porn’.
“He also became known for filing controversial bills, including his annual anti-abortion legislation that this year included a provision that could make miscarriages criminal in certain circumstances. … A member of the Judiciary Non-Civil Committee, he would frequently attempt to add anti-abortion language to unrelated bills to the exasperation of his colleagues.”
ANNUAL anti-abortion legislation? Abortion riders? Wow, even God wanted this guy to shut the hell up.
“ I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction.”- Clarence Darrow
Joking about people’s deaths is the epitome of classy. Really.
I really didn’t like this guy, at all, but he had a family and he had friends and he had people who loved and cared about him. He had three children. You shouldn’t joke about a person’s death, whatever they did in their life.
In dealing with the people who can't grasp that the sexes can be different but equal, I like to resort to a little undeniable math.
A man might be the five and his wife might be the 2 plus 3. They aren't the same, and no one is claiming they are, but they have the same value. What's so hard about that?
I’m tired of self proclaimed pro-porn feminists (of any gender) saying they dislike how women are treated, abused and portrayed in the majority of pornography. They understand fully the impact that it has on performers and society and they KNOW there are alternatives- pornography which doesn’t promote women as ‘sluts/whores/cumdumpsters/wanting of rape,torture,degradation etc’. Pornography companies who encourage safety in the industry, pay their performers fairly and treat them well. Pornography that is hot as hell to watch and just as explicit without being misogynistic as all hell.
…And yet they still watch abusive, disgusting, degrading pornography on a regular basis. The hypocrisy and willful ignorance astounds me, and I’m curious to know why anyone would choose to participate in a culture of abuse when they know there is an alternative.
Some of my closest friends are these people and I don’t know what to do about it, if I could or should do anything at all. Policing people’s sexuality isn’t my business. However it make me sick to my stomach knowing that abuse and degradation in a non-respectful or consensual way (like bdsm fantasies etc) floats their boats.
I don’t understand. I don’t know what to do. Maybe I should just cease being friends with them. As someone in the pornography industry I can’t abide by people who support things which directly influence me and others I care for in such a horrible way.
***for clarification I’m pro -some- bdsm porn, and I’m completely pro consensual BDSM. There is nothing wrong with safe, consensual fantasies or living them out- but like much of the pornography industry many BDSM porn sites treat their performers like shit and are completely disrespectful outside the roleplay and context of the fetish they cater too. I know this from first and second hand industry experience. Many sites don’t even screen models too see if they are even interested in BDSM, instead they just pick up girls desperate for cash and coax them into being beaten, strangled, electrocuted, smothered etc etc; which is disgusting. The friendly, consensual, non-coerced, respectful fantasy BDSM porn where performers are engaged and willing is not what I’m talking about when I say ‘bad porn’***
Hi, I have a gender related issue I wanted to bring up. This is something I take pretty seriously. I basically want to know what you think about this. It is often asked, "why is it okay for men to sleep around but not women?" The common solution for this dilema is to say that it should be okay for women to sleep around as well. That would make things equal. Indeed it would, but I think the solution is backwards. Instead of making sleeping around acceptable for women, it ought to be made unacceptable for men.
When somebody sleeps around, it is inevitable that a victim will be created. Somebody will be used. Somebody who wants a relationship will end up with nothing but a regret. This happens to both men and women. So shouldn't that be something that is considered wrong for both men and women? To make a sexual victim out of someone? Because as a man, I have found myself in this situation, where I think I'm going to have a relationship with a women who ends up only wanting sex. And I ended up really hurt by this. I just don't think thats okay.
Firstly; ‘sleeping around’ doesn’t necessarily mean people get ‘used’. In many cases (one nights stands, poly relationships and the like) people want to have just a night or a few of sex and I see nothing wrong with that; it is not inevitable at all that a victim will be created- not everyone has the same wants and needs regarding sex and relationships. Using or tricking people into sex however is wrong.
If a woman (or a man- or anyone really) decides they are interested in sex and not a relationship then they should be upfront about it. And if that is not what you are after then that person is not for you. Simple. Don’t go there.
Any person should feel free to sleep with at any time, as many times and in any way with anyone they choose as long as it’s consensual regardless of their genders.
Defining what ‘sleeping around’ is is also difficult (impossible). To one person any more than one sexual encounter is too many, to some 5, to some it’s if you have sex with more than one person at a time. Slut shaming or telling people to not ‘sleep around’ is offensive- what sexual encounters a person has is no ones business but their own. If it’s safe, sane and consensual people should do as they choose.
I’m sorry that you’ve been hurt before- but telling everyone how and when and with how many people they should have sex with is a completely inappropriate solution.
Thank you HBO for portraying what happened to Jason as rape and not making a joke of it. Thank you for having Jason’s best friend not act as if it was ‘cool’ Jason was gang raped by various women. Thank you for allowing Jason to tell hoyt that his comparison of ‘My girlfriend is being weird’ to ‘You just got gang raped’ isn’t even in the same league, and having Hoyt then shut his mouth so Jason can talk about his trauma. Thank you for taking male rape seriously.
There has been discussion regarding if this episode trivializes rape. In a recent post by Feministe Hexy states shes never felt as if the show has been so blatant and so “extremely gendered”. I’m curious to know what she means by the later- but as far as I’ve seen I disagree.
This episode in particular highlights another issue I haven’t yet seen discussed- One I would like to see Hexy speak on and one I think she has ignored directly in this quote:
"I don’t think that the subject would be treated anywhere near this lightly, or even depicted at all, if the story called for a room full of men lining up to rape a woman, say, Sookie Stackhouse. The writers just wouldn’t dare to not show the rapists as menacing characters. ”
Firstly; The writers have shown a rapist as a menacing, terrifying character before. The story line with Tera last season. There is also discussion about the show being racist because they chose to make an African-American character the victim of rape. Considering African-American women statistically are more likely to experience rape and domestic abuse by a HUGE margin: I don’t see how that’s racist. It’s making a point on a very sad and disgusting reality.
This situation is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT to the Tera story arc. Not all cases of rape are the same and I’m glad the show has showcased a different scenario. In many cases of rape the perpotrators are ‘seemingly harmless’ people- often people the victims know, trust and love. I feel this story arch shows that; and rape in a different light than most shows in a very nontrivial way.
The women who rape Jason one after the other are all forced into doing so- pimped out by their own fathers, husbands and brothers to become pregnant. They are VICTIMS themselves. While some of the women seemingly enjoy raping Jason some cry and are horribly upset. One of the young girls who is a virgin can’t do it and cries, eventually helping Jason free. Sexual slavery comes in various packages and forms- and what the women are doing to Jason is sexual slavery. Either they are brainwashed completely into his rape or are forced. It’s not consensual.
I am glad that it was also Jason’s character who was chosen for this arc. Male rape does happen and can happen to anyone- even a macho, womanizing manly-man like Jason. It’s not just little boys, non-hetero-normative or ‘queer’ men that get raped. It also shows that trauma and violence effects even manly men, and that they have feelings and emotions.
I feel as though many people don’t want to see rape in television or movies ever, especially if its glorified, victim blaming, ‘sexy’ or trivializes the topic- and for that I don’t blame them. However, I don’t think any of the rape or implied rape scenes in Trueblood have been this way. I don’t think it disrespects victims. I don’t think the reactions of the victims in the show are inaccurate to what many people do and the trauma they go through. I don’t think that just because the rapists in this scene where non violent, creepy bogey men the story and message are any less valid.
I most certainly don’t think it trivializes the issue of rape. To trivialize is to make trivial; to minimize. To make less of. In both cases of rape in the show so far neither time did I feel the show made rapes meaningless or less meaningful. It showed the rape as violent, violating, terrifying and betraying. More importantly I feel that the show treats the rape of Jason (Female on Male) just as seriously as it did the rape of Tera. (Male on Female.)
Furthermore, men need to stop expecting women to maintain this illusion. These are natural parts of life that aren’t going to end any time in the near future. Females are not fragile creatures that are predisposed to be perfectly-coiffed or smell like flowers and cupcakes. Few things are more pathetic than a man who cringes at the word, “period.”
Ladies, live out loud if you want to. Feel free to complain about the gross stuff your body does, because it’s yours. Or not. But don’t feel compelled to stay on this pedestal for the sake of some man’s precious vision of a perfect woman.
“Nobody told me I had a clitoris. Nobody told me I was capable of having orgasms. For five years I was given “sex education”. It mostly consisted of periods and condoms. It didn’t talk about consent. It didn’t talk about the actual mechanics of sex, about arousal and lubrication and oscillation. It didn’t tell me a single thing about relationships and it didn’t tell me I had a clitoris. I only know now because of the internet. Nobody entrusted with my care and education has ever told me that the female orgasm exists, or about the parts of my anatomy necessary for it. I didn’t find my clitoris until I was eighteen, after six years of active sexuality. That makes me angry.”—Sex Education, or, What Boys Will Want From You « Frothing at the Brain (via mollix, sexisnottheenemy) (via feministslut) (via ieatyourhatelikelove)
In March, six British soccer players confessed to gang-raping two 12-year-old girls and were sentenced to two years behind bars. But last week, an Appeal Court overturned the sentence, and all of the men were freed.
Candida earns top billing on any site discussing porn movies for women, because she is the pioneer of this genre. Originally an actress during the 70s, Candida directed her first film for women, Femme, in 1985. She has since made 16 features, her most recent being Under The…
The most common concern about pornography is that it indirectly hurts women by encouraging sexism, raising sexual expectations and thereby harming relationships. Some people worry that it might even incite violence against women. The data, however, do not support these claims. “There’s absolutely no evidence that pornography does anything negative,” says Milton Diamond, director of the Pacific Center for Sex and Society at the University of Hawaii at Manoa. “It’s a moral issue, not a factual issue.”
Sounded interesting until I read a part of the introduction.
Sure, it’s a valid discussion, the “sexualisation” of women (I HATE HATE HATE that word) but then I just realised - this is slut-shaming disguised as academic writing. It’s raises *puzzling* questions like: Why do intelligent straight women go to pole dancing clubs for kicks and watch women who essentially feign desire for a living and are used as a symbol of female sexual liberation.
Why can’t women go to pole dancing clubs for kicks? Why can’t women feign desire for a living? How do we know that *all* women feign the desire? Why can’t women do that for a living while no one says anything about it if the dancers are men?
In Iceland, last year or the year before pole dancing was forbidden. The government thought they would make it disappear and that this was an important step towards eradicating human trafficking (it doesn’t btw). And all dancing where women lost their clothing was forbidden. However, a few months after the law was put into force, a “women’s night” was held at one of the clubs and the entertainment for the night was a foreign male strip teasing group. No one said anything about it and apparently that was ok and not illegal.
Equality has to go both ways to work. WHY can’t women do strip tease if it’s ok for men to do it? How is it more demeaning for women than men? (not that I think it is demeaning in the slightest). What is wrong with showing your naked body for money?
So, prostitution abolitionist, Melissa Farley has a big new study about sex buyers in this week’s Newsweek. Chris Atchinson is another researcher, who interviewed buyers in Johns Voice — the largest study of it’s kind. Only, he’s not coming from an anti-sex work platform. When I interviewed…
Unfortunately; Melissa Farley’s ‘researched conclusions’ (biased, half-arsed, ignorant) are not uncommon. Common sense isn’t as common as you would think and being able to look at things from a varied perspective isn’t something it seems she is capable of doing.
The idea of her and those like her to ‘fix’ this ‘problem’ are too simplified. They will cause a lot of collateral damage for people who are currently happy and safe within the industry- pushing them to work in unsafe, unpleasant and illegal conditions. While doing absolutely nothing to help those already working in poor conditions and who are victims of sexual slavery.
Banning consensual services of a basic part of human nature (sex) that not everyone is able to obtain on their own for various reasons if unfair, obscene and un-policable. Prohibition isn’t something thats worked- ever. Especially not when it comes to basic human needs and urges.
There are many reasons people can not have sexual relations that are not purchased such as:
A lack of education, social skills or socialization.They may be considered old, unattractive or offensive by societies standards.They may not have the time to commit to a relationship but don’t wish to engage in a one night stand.
They may suffer from mental illness or disorder, psychical illness or disablilty, disease, poor self esteem and social skills. They may be part of a minority group and may be looked down upon. They may have trust issues, they may be lonely and isolated in marriage. They may not be able to express their sexual orientation due to culture pressures. They may not be able to explore, enjoy or engage in their sexuality and interests due to social taboos. Maybe they have a partner who is disabled, ill, uninterested or unwilling to show them affection.
Or they may not be any of those things; they may just want some guaranteed company and affection. What of it?
Customers of the legal (and often illegal) sex industry are not bogeymen. They are not pedophiles, rapists, murderers or crazyville residents; and the ones who are in countries like Australia are the exceptions- not the majority.
There are many people who want to work in the sex industry- Myself Included. I find it highly insulting to suggest that I like when I say I like my job- or that I don’t know any better. People like Melissa Farley need to realize not everyone is the same and her one-size-fits-all solution DOES NOT fit all sizes. Her solution would force me and people like me who do like our jobs into the streets and directly into harms way while not doing anything to help the already illegal sex trafficking industry. If her solution was to do anything I think it would increase sex slavery and the rape, degradation and abuse of sex workers.
1. i do not give a single fuck whether you respect me or not. the point is not to gain your respect. the point is to dismantle a system that justifies and encourages violence against women by policing and denouncing female sexuality.
When University of Iowa graduate student Rebecca Epstein reported to police that she’d been date-raped, she hoped she’d get justice. But because of the circumstances of her case — possibly including her bipolar disorder — that’s not what happened.
When leaving anonymous messages with your phone numbers- Please be aware I am NOT in the USA and can not call numbers outside my home country- Australia. Please leave an email address I can contact you at; and if you are contacting me from a news site, university etc please use your ‘official’ email address.
She didn’t say that I was an idiot, or that I should shut up and never speak again. She told me, flat out, “Jesse, you are wrong.”
We were talking about a pretty sensitive topic that comes up from time to time in the social justice community, and that is what women wear when they are out and about, specifically when they are “going out” and dressing up. I remember the conversation well, because it not only tore away my beliefs about gender and feminism, but also helped to define what my role would be as a man alongside female feminists.